Now that 2004 is drawing to a close—and not a moment too soon, let me tell you—it’s time do something breath-takingly original like recap the year’s events, right? No? Well, maybe not. How about this as an alternative. As I have been accused (in the past and just a few hours ago) of being a [...]
At CostCo today I had some sort of brain mishap. I’m not sure what it was, but I’ve experienced it before, more often as a teenager than an adult. It’s difficult to describe adequately. I was scanning the checkout lines looking for my friend, when suddenly the ambient sounds started to merge. It isn’t quite [...]
I pass the billboard below on my way to work each day. It is for a new product being rolled out by Anheuser-Busch: beer with caffeine, guarana, and ginseng, called B-to-the-E. That’s right, it’s effectively mixing a Red Bull with a Bud. So next time you want to get as drunk as possible without worrying [...]
I am a packrat. There’s no point in denying this simple fact; it’s a part of who I am, my genetics, even. My mother saved things of little or no obvious worth, sometimes because “this might be useful some day,” and sometimes because “I just can’t bear to part with this.” Certain aspects of this [...]
In Best Buy today there was a cardboard DVD display for Shrek 2, the kind the store fills with DVDs. The shelves were boldly marked with the phrase “Now with new surprise ending!” However, the animated sequel was sold out, so some enterprising stock clerk filled the display with copies of The Passion of the [...]
I spent the day today with my father, just the two of us. My mother died several years ago, and my brother went across the state to visit his pseudo-girlfriend’s family for the day, so it was just me and the old man. I’m not sure why there’s a shrunken Santa head on my father’s [...]
My Midwestern friends have my sympathy, frozen as they are in this weird winter. I heard that my home town, Paducah, had 14″ of snow Wednesday, more than they usually get in the entire winter. You know, I miss the change of the seasons, and I even miss snow, but that’s crazy. I, on the [...]
There I was, poised to write an angry screed against those dimwits who are allegedly “saving Merry Christmas” by indulging in boycotts against companies who respect their non-Christian customers. Fortunately for you all, I visited Mustang Bobby’s excellent site and saw his much more reasonable post on the subject. Go read it, okay? On another [...]
In an attempt to lessen the impact of the headaches that have lately plagued me, my doctor prescribed a daily preventive medication. For what it’s worth, the headaches are now minimized, but at the cost of all my waking hours. All I seem to be able to do is sleep. Now many of you, particularly [...]
You know, if you kill the people who really, really piss you off, you’ll get caught and go to jail. But if you kill enough of them at the same time, you’ll get to make the new laws, and then you won’t go to jail. Of course, you need to know when to stop. Ruling [...]
Posting has been light lately, in no small part because my work situation is becoming… well, ugly. My company is undergoing certain changes which are putting us all under a significant amount of stress, and many people are reacting to this stress by becoming either (a) unctuous sycophants, or (b) unbearably aggressive and cutthroat. Neither [...]
You know, as much as I enjoy the convenience of e-mail, I admit to a little nostalgia for holiday cards. There was something kind of fun about checking the mail box, looking for greetings from far away, and then taping the new arrivals to the front of the refrigerator. These days, though, any such greetings [...]
It’s everywhere these days, the omnipresent sound of holiday music. I confess that I’ve been listening to some of it myself, and in a non-ironic fashion, hard as that may be to believe. There are some holiday songs and performances that I enjoy quite a bit, but there are others that make my gorge rise [...]